i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
