He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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