do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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