We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dignity is for republicans.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
