It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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