haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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