I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I can't put those talents on a resume
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
