shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize