This girl is more easily done than said...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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