So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize