Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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