This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
