i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
