My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
