her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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