I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize