Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am one with the molecules
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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