we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
