Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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