what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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