so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
