i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
