I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
