windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
