PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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