all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize