Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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