You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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