***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
operation have a gay friend backfired
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
