Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
