my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
