Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
