Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize