it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
