Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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