Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize