this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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