I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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