i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
