Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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