all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
