You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
