no, he came in my armpit
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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