shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
