Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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