exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
