i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize