We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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