I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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