the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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