OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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