im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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