before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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