There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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