i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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