I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
