I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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