I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
