um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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