If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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