After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
