Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize