Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
