Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
This baby is an asshole
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
